May 24, 2005

X-tian eye for the heretic guy

It's hard to say for sure whether these are real or satire...

Like World O'Crap, I'm not going to say much about these t-shirts, which you can actually buy at ChristianShirts.net. Afterall, a picture is worth a thousand words, so I will just leave you with the one I found most amusing, and most disturbing:

Posted by Elyas at 02:35 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

April 25, 2005

Proof God doesn't exist?

Apparently, the newly elected Pope Benedict XVI prayed to God during the conclave, asking not to be elected pope. If the Pope can't get a prayer answered, what hope is there for the rest of us?

On a related note, I turn it over to the intern:

Disclaimer: This piece is not intended to insult or offend anyone. Acinom understands that for billboards and road signs there is no spell-check, grammar-check, or does-this-mean-anything-in-any-known-language-check. I would merely like to point out that sometimes when driving by these signs, I put myself and everyone around me in danger during my violent convulsions of laughter. So. Without further ado, I present my list of favorite church road signs seen in the past month or so on my drive in to work. (Misspellings theirs, not mine)

1. Jesus died from your sins. Everyone welcome. (My bad Jay-Cee. Didn't mean to sin and kill you and stuff [I thought Jesus died for your sins]. And I'm still trying to figure out the second part.)
2.What will you say when Jesus return? (Honestly, if it means the world is ending I will probably say, "Oh @#$&!!!!)
3.You are a child of God whether you like it or not. (Isn't faith supposed to be uplifting?)
4.When you go before Him, what choise will you make? (The red pill? A number three with cheese? Low-Fat Milk? I thought when I show up at the gates ole' St. Pete "choises" what happens to me. Dangit should have paid more attention in Sunday School.)
5.Jesus Church. Sat 9 AM--Sun 9 AM. (I've never seen "Jesus
Church" before. Economy of Words.. As for the second part..Wow. That's a lot of Jebus. If the average Sunday service goes for 1 hour, "Jesus Church" could do in one sitting what average churches do in 24 weeks. Let's hope they mean one service on Saturday and one on Sunday.)

Posted by Elyas at 10:41 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

April 21, 2005

E-pope

From Ablogistan.com's intern about the new pope's e-mail address:

Apparently they are going to let you do e-mail confession from now on. Not really but how handy would that be if you screwed something up and then just confessed it on your blackberry two minutes later. Great, now only rich people with PDAs can confess their sins and go to heaven.

At 78, I doubt the pope uses the Internet on a daily basis. Most likely a group of unpaid Vatican interns handle all the e-mail requests, which makes an e-prayer about as useful as a letter to Santa Claus. Still, I wonder how many offers to enlarge his penis the pope gets in his inbox daily. [MSN]

p.s. E-mail the pope at benedictxvi@vatican.va

Posted by Elyas at 01:26 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack