• The Godfather - This guy (typically male) has a lot of money and a lot of people that depend on him because of it. He likes acknowledgement that he's the Man, but not from you. The owner/manager will stop by and kiss up for a while. You, the waiter, are another member of his extended network of dependents who he wants to take care of. Standard tip: Act like you're doing your best and you should get a nice 20% tip on a very large bill. The Godfather likes to appear generous.

• The Godfather's Family - This can be a son, daughter, wife--any member of The Godfather's Family--who comes into the restaurant without him. They like to flaunt their money and power when away from the patriarch. They want specially prepared meals and they are often condescending. They'll say things like, "I'm friends with the owner. I could get you fired," if something goes wrong. You'll have to kiss ass like you've never kissed before, and it still won't be enough. Standard tip: Anything from very generous to virtually nothing.

• Mr. Business - Not quite C-Suite material, but recently successful with a pocketful of money, Mr. Business will try to sleep with you if you're a female, and if you're male, well, he (and his buddies) would rather have a young girl waiting on them. A waitress can do a little flirting and land a big tip (to go along with a little harassment), but try to stay invisible if you're a man. If you interrupt him at anytime he'll go on a super-alpha-male power trip and make your night miserable. When he's not in the restaurant with business buddies, he's having dinner with a woman who definitely isn't his wife.Standard tip: 15%-20%

• Mr. and Mrs. Awesome - This man or woman (or often a couple) probably have either waited tables at some point in their life or, most likely, have a child your age who is currently waiting tables. They want to know your life story: Where did you go to school? What was your major? They're nice and laid back, either retired or recent empty nesters. Standard tip: Probably 15% (they may think that's the standard) but 20% if they have a waiter/waitress in the family.

• Hal and Holly Wood - It's hard to know how a celebrity will act. It depends on a variety of factors like the level of fame, how long he/she has had it, their mood, etc. (there is actually a long algebraic formula for determining this, but my blogging font doesn't have mathematic symbols). If he/she comes in for a small dinner with the family, they'll probably be polite enough and not want too much attention. However, someone with newly acquired celebrity status and an entourage of followers may act a lot like The Godfather's Family. Standard tip: Probably 20%, but you may have to work very hard for it.

I know, this list is full of stereotypes, and it's by no means comprehensive. I didn't even start on the prom parties, the college kids, the really cheap old people, and the many personality variations that depend on the amount of people at dinner and the amount of alcohol consumed. The Waiter Rule was intended to give CEOs a gauge of character for potential partners and employees, so I've tried to include potential candidates in the list. I welcome any present or past waiters to add to it.

Thanks to Waiter Rant for the link.